Delhi Belly

Dear Aamir Khan,

There is no doubt over the fact that you’re on the peak currently. You actually posses that Midas touch. Whatever you’re doing is being praised and applauded. People have started to call you Cinematic Genius, Legend and Best of all time. I really do not want to comment on that. Everybody has a different opinion and nobody is wrong.  Most of the time.

All I would say in your praise that you have immortalized yourself and years from now on people will talk about your guts, courage, choices, decisions and actions. It’s true that whichever movie you make or produce is a case study in itself and people will always learn something from it. Be it Lagaan, Taare Zameen Par, Jaane tu, Peepli Live, Dhobhi Ghaat or Delhi Belly.

Here are a few things I learned from Delhi Belly:

1)      Humor can be age and culture specific and intelligent for some while it can be crass, crude and horrible for some.

2)      The movie can be named after any city to make it rhyme even if there is no show of that city in the movie.

3)      An average script, terrible lead actor, all the other actors being terrific, good and fresh music, ace producer and intelligent promotions can combine to make a memorable movie.

4)      Bollywood is finally expanding. People like to see different and you like to show them something different. Stereotypes don’t work now.

5)      One cannot watch this movie with parents. Certainly.

6)      One should not watch this movie with friends from opposite sex and lovers, for some scenes will embarrass them for sure.

7)      One MUST watch this movie with friends from opposite sex and lovers, because, you know. That awkward moment when you want to laugh out loud but just cannot. These moments are funny in their own way (sic).

8)      People farting, talking about blowjobs (well not just talking), camera focusing on cleavages, using highest level of profane language, can make people laugh.

9)      Actresses can surely do a marvelous job in a raunchy, men-oriented and adult comedy.

10)   A former movie director can make people burst out of laughter with his stomach gurgles, dialogue delivery and expressions.

11)   A standup comedian can crack people up with his constipated expressions and poor looks.

12)   A terrible actor who is your nephew can kiss numerous girls in numerous places.  So it obviously will shock people and make them laugh.

13)   Songs of the movie alone can make you laugh. Appropriate songs in appropriate situations. A perfect example of icing on the cake.

14)   One should not ‘try’ to make anyone laugh. Comic scenes should always be situational just like the ones shown in Delhi Belly.

15)   People will always remain a little hypocrite (if not completely), i.e., they will always accuse the movie for showing excessive vulgarity and will laugh at it once shown. Silently.

16)   Camera angles, lighting, color effects and other technical aspects sometimes don’t matter.

17)   A lot of talent is being wasted in Bollywood. This is what you get once you give newcomers the responsibility of making a unique film. They seldom disappoint.

18)   Censor board is finally learning that sometimes they just need to let go of all the scenes, and need not chop out anything.

19)   Your item song in the end is amazingly hilarious. Even you thought why let everyone move out of theater silently, they deserve to laugh till their vocal chords give up, after all they have invested their money in your film. It outdoes everything.

20)   Shit Happens.

Sincerely,

Just Another Young Man.

PS: Why the fuck should you miss this movie? Go shake your biscuit.