Book Review: The Tenth Unknown - Jvalant N. Sampat

Like thrillers? Have interest in world History? Have knowledge about the World War II? Know about Ashoka? Heard about the rumor of The Nine Unknowns? “The Tenth Unknown”, debut novel by Jvalant Nalin Sampat, deals with the myth, fact, rumors and the events that occurred during World War II. Starting in Emperor Ahoka’s court in Rajagriha, Magadha in 232 BC and ending with India’s independence in 1947, this action packed thriller, set primarily against the backdrop of World War II, is sure to hook you up with its first page.

Prithvi Rathore: An aspiring cricketer, used to a rich and comfortable life, who is uncertain about the role of British rulers in India and has no viewpoint on India getting independence and cricket is his priority.

Richard Youdale: A British Officer who had joined Indian Civil Service more for the money than the prestige.

Joseph Heidler: A reluctant member of the Nazi Party who did not attach too much importance to the Nazi Ideology.

The Story begins with Ashoka stating his followers that, as a child, he came across nine books in a dusty library and through which he obtained the rare knowledge of mass destruction and methods of defeating every possible nation on the planet and how sorry he is for his deeds. He assigns nine unknowns and entrusts one book to each unknown to keep them safe and away from destructive humans.

Thousands of years have passed and during the British rule in India, a few German Archaeologists have accidently discovered the first book and Hitler is using that book for his own benefit to eradicate all the Jews and Gypsies and to trigger the war. Heidler is assigned the task of hunting down the remaining books.

Prithivi’s grandfather, who is among the nine unknowns, assigns him to prevent the remaining books before they fall into Nazi Hands.

The British officers are puzzled as to why the Germans are interested in digging India’s past and they assign Youdale to obtain the thorough dossier on Heidler and eventually, finding all the remaining books before anybody else does.

Who is The Tenth Unknown? What happens when all these three guys collide? Who finds the remaining books? Who deciphers all the clues and the codes? Read “The Tenth Unknown” to find all the answers!

Talking about the writing, Jvalant and his editing team have used the perfect language throughout the book. Since it deals with all the Englishmen, Germans, and Indians, language is just perfect (though a few printing glitches can be easily ignored) with appropriate and excellent use of correct words wherever necessary. Also, it’s upto the reader whether he/she is able to comprehend the hidden humor in many of his lines in the book.

Though it was visible in a few places that this is the first attempt of the author at storytelling, what amazes the most in this book was Jvalant’s boldness and extreme research. Not every author can infuse the mysterious rumor as a fiction into facts, reality and history successfully. It doesn’t matter if you love reading world history or not (I don’t, for instance), Jvalant’s way of storytelling will surely make you get addicted to his book.

All in all, a great book for all thriller, mystery and history lovers and for all those rare humans who have heard or read about the nine unknowns, it is time they should be aware of the Tenth Unknown.

Pros: Theme, History, Mystery, Thrill, Nine Unknown Books, Perfect Language, well connected story, terrific ending and Author’s Research.

Cons: Not an easy book to read. Many might question the events occurring in the story.  

Overall: A Must Read. 4/5 


Book Excerpt:  http://www.jvalantsampat.in/excerpt

Book Review: Love Was Never Mine... - Kunal Bhardwaj

“When you want something, the entire universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.” While writing, little did Paulo Cohelo think that this quote of his would go on to stir the entire universe and would become the quote of hope, disaster, love and heartbreaks as well. A lot has been spoken and written about it and there is still no concrete conclusion whether this quote is actually true or not. Some like to believe in it, while some…some have believed in it and lost everything in the end. “Love was never Mine…” Kunal Bhardwaj’s debut novel explains the situation of a guy who could never win his love.

 

Rahul: A simple and down the earth guy with typical guy next door looks, dreams of winning his love Shreya. He believes in himself and is confident of making her reciprocate the feelings despite of knowing the fact that he doesn’t a looks to die for.

 

Shreya: Confident, helpful, sweet, beautiful yet materialistic. Rahul’s office colleague with whom he is madly in love with. Bur for Shreya, looks are priority.

 

Does the universe pay heed to Rahul’s desire of true and genuine love or does it ignore his quest?

 

First thing first, it is not a teen-age love story. It is set in the backdrop of a corporate set-up, where love is just a way of making things work in one’s way or its just lust covered up with fake emotions. Amidst of all this, there is Rahul. Fighting against all odds to win Shreya. Also he strongly believes in that Paulo Cohelo’s line; that the entire universe helps you if you want something genuinely. He has two friends who are there to help him to win his love. Shreya, on the other hand breaks up with her boyfriend due to some reasons and starts relying on Rahul for everything. That gives high hopes to Rahul and he starts expecting. Things take an unexpected turn when Shreya starts ignoring him and ultimately marries another guy. What happens after that? What does Rahul do? Do they come together finally or the future has something else in store for them? Read Love was never Mine to know the answers.

 

Talking about the writing style, Kunal has used a simple and clean language in the whole book, which makes the book a comfortable read. Although, there are a quite a few grammatical mistakes but the publishers are to be blamed for that. Nevermind, they shall be taken care of in the next edition, hopefully.

 

The book flaunts the detailed human insight and emotions. Kunal has explained Rahul’s situation beautifully and has made sure every reader who has ever been in love, whether successful or unsuccessful, should be able to relate with Rahul’s conundrum. His description of Shreya, everytime she enters in the story is brilliant. You can’t help but imagine and her smile.

 

All in all, read this book, if you’ve ever been in love for you can easily relate with Rahul everytime he feels for Shreya. Also, read it for Kunal. As he has tried his best to make sure everyone, even those who don’t read, should understand how it does feel like to be rejected everytime you expect a little love!

 

Pros: Very relatable story, Simple and clean writing, Unusual Ending and love!

 

Cons: A little amateurish writing style, grammatical and printing mistakes and the commonness in the beginning.

 

Overall: Good Read. 3/5

Delhi Belly

Dear Aamir Khan,

There is no doubt over the fact that you’re on the peak currently. You actually posses that Midas touch. Whatever you’re doing is being praised and applauded. People have started to call you Cinematic Genius, Legend and Best of all time. I really do not want to comment on that. Everybody has a different opinion and nobody is wrong.  Most of the time.

All I would say in your praise that you have immortalized yourself and years from now on people will talk about your guts, courage, choices, decisions and actions. It’s true that whichever movie you make or produce is a case study in itself and people will always learn something from it. Be it Lagaan, Taare Zameen Par, Jaane tu, Peepli Live, Dhobhi Ghaat or Delhi Belly.

Here are a few things I learned from Delhi Belly:

1)      Humor can be age and culture specific and intelligent for some while it can be crass, crude and horrible for some.

2)      The movie can be named after any city to make it rhyme even if there is no show of that city in the movie.

3)      An average script, terrible lead actor, all the other actors being terrific, good and fresh music, ace producer and intelligent promotions can combine to make a memorable movie.

4)      Bollywood is finally expanding. People like to see different and you like to show them something different. Stereotypes don’t work now.

5)      One cannot watch this movie with parents. Certainly.

6)      One should not watch this movie with friends from opposite sex and lovers, for some scenes will embarrass them for sure.

7)      One MUST watch this movie with friends from opposite sex and lovers, because, you know. That awkward moment when you want to laugh out loud but just cannot. These moments are funny in their own way (sic).

8)      People farting, talking about blowjobs (well not just talking), camera focusing on cleavages, using highest level of profane language, can make people laugh.

9)      Actresses can surely do a marvelous job in a raunchy, men-oriented and adult comedy.

10)   A former movie director can make people burst out of laughter with his stomach gurgles, dialogue delivery and expressions.

11)   A standup comedian can crack people up with his constipated expressions and poor looks.

12)   A terrible actor who is your nephew can kiss numerous girls in numerous places.  So it obviously will shock people and make them laugh.

13)   Songs of the movie alone can make you laugh. Appropriate songs in appropriate situations. A perfect example of icing on the cake.

14)   One should not ‘try’ to make anyone laugh. Comic scenes should always be situational just like the ones shown in Delhi Belly.

15)   People will always remain a little hypocrite (if not completely), i.e., they will always accuse the movie for showing excessive vulgarity and will laugh at it once shown. Silently.

16)   Camera angles, lighting, color effects and other technical aspects sometimes don’t matter.

17)   A lot of talent is being wasted in Bollywood. This is what you get once you give newcomers the responsibility of making a unique film. They seldom disappoint.

18)   Censor board is finally learning that sometimes they just need to let go of all the scenes, and need not chop out anything.

19)   Your item song in the end is amazingly hilarious. Even you thought why let everyone move out of theater silently, they deserve to laugh till their vocal chords give up, after all they have invested their money in your film. It outdoes everything.

20)   Shit Happens.

Sincerely,

Just Another Young Man.

PS: Why the fuck should you miss this movie? Go shake your biscuit.

All Guys Are The Same?!

She stood in the evening light, as if the light was coming from her own body, from her bosoms and eyes and where her dress had been. He couldn’t wait. He brought his face closer to her. His eyes speaking a million things, his sweaty forehead speaking about his situation. She smiled. His hands were shaking. He arched with her nakedness. Suddenly he felt something very soft and wet on his lips. He felt a charge developing inside his body. He kissed her ravenously, devouring his neck and earlobes. He mustered courage and gathered enough power to put his hands behind her back and broke free with muscular ease, unhooked her bra, and with composed expertise caressed her bosom. She sighed. Their hearts were pumping very fast and beats were loud. She touched him with her shaking and warm hands. He sighed. His hands were now going down. He jerked. She felt his breath stop and something deep inside her bloomed making her bold. She eased her hands down his belly to his bulging erection and cupped him through his jeans. "I want all of you this time," she whispered in a voice she nearly didn't recognize as her own. "Everything you've got to give me." She had her eyes close; and wanting to enjoy this moment to the fullest.

"Wider," he murmured, pushing her thighs apart. His mind had stopped working and he was full of lust now. Testosterone had gained full control over him. The secrets of her femininity lay bare in front of him; the sweet scent of her arousal filled his head. He rubbed his right thumb down the center of her, circling the exposed bead, then plunging into her glistening moistness. He was shivering. Badly

She arched against him reaching for him. "I want to touch you." He moved slightly to grant her access, and her hands slipped around him, adoring him with her touch.

“What are you doing, Naveen?” These words were so powerful. Powerful enough to break my fantasy. I  froze; petrified. “Take your hand out of your pants. Damn it, this is a college, have some manners.” For me, this was the biggest embarrassment I could ever face. ‘I’m screwed, librarian has spotted me.’ I said it aloud in my mind. Slowly, I took my right hand out of my pants. Turned around. Again froze. Eyes wide open. “What the hell? What are you doing here? Who allowed you here?” I was shocked to see him standing in front of me in the college library. Lebnox was here.

“Why were you following me? I mean, do you always follow me? Train? College?” I needed an answer this time. “Boy, I’ll come running every time I feel you’re up to something that you’re not supposed to do.” He replied back. Smiling. “What? What do you think of yourself? Who hired you? How come the guard let you in the college?” I again demanded answers. “Don’t worry about those things, Naveen. No one can spot me here. And I’m not gonna let you go without answering a few of my questions.” And he sat down.

“Not again! I’m in no mood to listen to your boring philosophies.” I sighed. “Do you think you have options?” He said while looking over to that magazine, I was caught reading. Goosebumps. “What is it?” I asked. A bit frustrated. Just then my cell phone beeped. SMS. I kept it back after reading and replying and looked up to him. He had noticed my smile. A diabolic grin appeared on his face. “What is that magazine that you were reading? Weren’t you afraid that someone will spot you fantasizing here?” The question scared me. “The place where I was sitting is fully isolated. No one goes there. That’s why I was shocked. And even more shocked to find you there. And err..umm.. the magazine isObject of Desire.” I still can’t believe I actually told him the name of magazine. I must have been some exceptional kind of idiot. I still am, I guess.

He started laughing. Anybody would have laughed at my reply. Everything happening was so embarrassing, I tell you.

“Mate, you know what? It’s not entirely your fault. Tell me, do you have a girlfriend?” Lebnox was in a total mood to mock me. I thought he’d guessed it after seeing me smile at the SMS. “Why? What does me having a girlfriend has to do here?” “General question. Passing the time, you know.” He winked. I could sense a storm approaching. “Umm.. Yes.” “Nice. Now tell me, do you love her?” I again froze. What kind of question was that? I mean if I have a girlfriend, I must be in love, right?“Yes, I do.” I replied super confidently. “Do you even know what love is, mate?” This was enough. He was making my gorge rise. “Enough. I am leaving. You appear out of nowhere. Ask questions that are not relevant. I’m late for class.” I noticed him laughing, adding fuel to the fire. “Sit down mate, you don’t even know which class is going on and what is next and what are the timings. You are going nowhere.” He replied. I mean how can one be so jobless? “I’m not jobless. My job is to keep your life on track. And yes, you said that aloud.” Shit.

“Yes, I know what love is. I have seen thousands of movies and read quite a few books on love. So please don’t teach me what love is as I don’t want to know.” I was almost screaming. The most irritating part was, he was enjoying all of this. “Okay, I’ll not say anything. Rather, I’ll listen to you, tell me what all you know about love.” My vocal chords stopped working. My mind went numb. I was stuck between a rock and a hard place. “Love is…” I tried to speak. “..something surreal.” I stopped. I mean I couldn’t speak anymore. “Wow, quite an answer that was. When did you realize that you’re in love with her?” Why the hell was he enjoying so much!!

“I mean she is sort of hot and stuff. I feel good with her. She makes me happy. I like her company!” He was almost laughing on hearing this. Why?! “Have you kissed her?” “No yaar, I’m wait…. Err.. Umm.. What the heck? What are you asking?” Shit. What had I done?! “That’s what I wanted to know. Does she know all this? Why did she accept your proposal?” I had to compensate. I had to give a convincing answer. “She smiled when I proposed her. She said yes without much ado. And she added,I’m different. Rest all guys are the same.”

His expressions were enigmatic. Either he had won a world cup or he was fuming with anger. I didn’t know. “She is wrong, Naveen. You actually belong to that group. That is the bitter truth.” His smile had vanished. That was not a good sign. Nothing was, actually. “What? We’ve met only twice, you don’t even know me.” “I know you more than you know about yourself.” Goosebumps. “And I’m here to tell you a few facts, and I hope you’ll follow them.” Goosebumps. “You know why girls say all guys are the same?” It was my turn to answer. “Yes, because they think all guys think about sex all the time.” “And?” He was expecting more. “I.. I think girls are wrong. Not all guys.” He was not convinced. “See Naveen. Over the years, effect of west has grown exponentially in our country. Young generation has been the biggest affected group. And there is a difference as well. Guys watch more and more Hollywood movies and many get inspired by the activities shown in them. Not all, I must add. On the other hand, girls watch Hollywood movies and many get inspired by the looks shown in them. Not all, again.”

I really didn’t know where the hell was he going??!! “So the problem is, watching or reading excessive porn is quite harmful. It pollutes your mind to a great extent; when you see a girl, you start imagining lot of stuff. Stuff that you shouldn’t imagine. And in that process, you look at her with such luscious eyes, that girl starts feeling uncomfortable.” He continued. That is actually the truth, I guess. I had to face it.

“Many of you look at the cleavage and the bosoms before even making an eye contact. Tell me how that girl is supposed to behave? Why, in many places, they have separate seating arrangement for girls? Why the metro train has a separate coach for ladies? Answer is simple; some guys cannot handle a girl standing next to them. They are desperate.  And why desperate? Excessive porn, my friend! Watching it quite a few times a day, increases the level of testosterone in a guy and all he can think of is sex. And you, you too are a victim, Naveen. You have made a girlfriend just to get laid with her, nothing else. Accept it.” I almost fell on the floor. Somehow, I knew deep inside, he was somewhat correct. I was wrong. “The day you stop watching girls with lusty eyes, stop assuming them as your object of desire and start respecting them and giving them the equality they deserve, will be the day where you’ll see a huge change around you.” The last line gave me confidence. I could now at least make an eye contact with him. He was in full flow today. “Also, the day you stop watching porn, will be the day you’ll secure a healthy and problem free future.” He said looking at my pants. Man, I wanted to kill him. How could he be so brutal??!!

“What should I do then?” I gathered courage and asked. “It’s time. Go attend your lecture. Be honest with your girl, and love her. Stop thinking about sex all the time. Even if you don’t, just remember this. And if you want to know how you can do this? Stop watching porn.” I had been looking down all the while. My watch was screaming that I was late for the lecture. I got up and I could see nobody in front of me. I looked around; again, nobody. Damn it! Was I dreaming?!?!

A few points:

1)      All guys are NOT the same.

2)      Even if they were, now they won’t be.

3)      There was no use of that sex scene in the beginning.

4)      The writer wrote it just to flaunt his writing skills.

5)      He does not write porn and nor promotes it.

6)      Naveen is a good guy; just sometimes he is caught doing wrong things.

Book Review: Bombay Duck is a Fish - Kanika Dhillon

Ever had a dream to make it big in Indian Film Industry? Ever checked your knowledge of Film Making? Ever wondered what exactly Mumbai is all about? Ever imagined how exactly a film is made? Ever thought from where all the rumors about Film stars come from? Ever thought if given a choice between survival and honesty, what would you choose? Ever imagined what guilty conscience is all about? “Bombay Duck Is A Fish” a debut novel by Kanika Dhillon, talks about dreams, reality, love, struggle, honesty, ethics, politics, Mumbai and films!

Neki Brar, yet another small town girl, begins her life in Mumbai in order to chase her dreams of becoming a renowned Film Maker. Little does she know that nothing comes ‘the easy way’ in Mumbai. She starts as a bottom most Assistant Director in a film by Fiza Kareem( one of the top directors, according to the book) and starts facing the reality of films. She learns Dos and Don’ts, blame game, art of deceiving, faking promises the hard way. Ranvir Khanna, the actor with looks to die for, the charmer, makes her fall in love with him and takes advantages. The other assistant directors, namely, Karan, PJ, Shivani, Kriti and Sam play an important role in changing her values and transforming her character from an honest and simple girl to a cunning and shrewd Assistant Director. Eventually she starts climbing the ladders to success and in that process makes more enemies. Battling rivalry, ambition, betrayal, politics and burning egos of Film stars, she discovers the beauty of her own ambition and the ugliness of true love.

A lot has been said and written about struggle and small town guys making big in Indian Film Industry, then why ‘Bombay Duck Is A Fish”?

Kanika Dhillon has used a very simple and honest writing style in the book. The details she gives about Film Making, such minute details, I tell you, are superb. She makes you watch the whole movie set and action through the words. Also, the first person writing style used in the book is so magnificently written that she makes you live the character of Neki Brar and feel her emotions and state of mind.

The life and role of Junior Artists, stunt men, make up men, spot boys, line producers, camera men, lighting men and many others are presented in such detail that you can’t help but praise Kanika. The reality of film stars, i.e., their intentions, their ego, their tantrums, their demands, their secrets and the truth is told in an unbiased and clear manner that she makes you realize that it doesn’t matter if the stars and everything look so fantastic and ideal, reality is always different. Everybody is pretentious. They have no other choice.

She also tells that if you have to survive in the industry and get credit and recognition of your work, you have to be at the right place at the right time and do the right thing. It doesn’t matter if that thing you do is right for you and wrong for others. Love is nothing in industry; everything that happens in the name of it is just an act of selfishness and lust.  

But, she does not forget to add that, if you want to fulfill your dreams, Mumbai is the city for you; and if you want to get lost, Mumbai is the city for you.

With so much about Mumbai, films and reality, “Bombay Duck Is A Fish” is for everyone who wants to get into Film Industry and has larger than life dreams. The book forces you to face the truth and the dark side of working in the industry. With such high stakes, where you know you’re going to lose much more than you gain, how far would you go in pursuit of dreams, and how many good virtues would you give up? And how can you be sure that despite of sacrificing so many things, you’ll eventually taste that ‘success’ you’ve been waiting for long?

Pros: Films, reality, dreams, ambition, virtues, Kanika’s natural flair with writing, superb editing, and fantastic conclusion in the end.

Cons: A few of you might call many events happening in the book ‘unreal’. For me, there are none.

Overall: 4.2/5

Do yourself a favor; buy this book this weekend and read it. 

Shaitan

Hello Guys! Did you miss us? Yes, we missed you all too. After skipping a sling of Hollywood hits and a Salman Starrer, our man has chosen Shaitan to review this week. He seemed excited yesterday before the movie and now let’s see what effect movie had on him today. Please welcome, LEBNOX!

“Hello Lebnox, you look stoned! Are you high?”

“High on Shaitan, I guess.”

“So that means you’re not gonna smoke or drink now?”

“I don’t smoke. I don’t drink. So that question is baseless.”

“Oh, oh. So let’s begin the interview. Shall we?”

“Umm…Yeah. Let’s do it.”

Q.1) The classic: Describe the movie in one word.

Lebnox: Insane!

Q.2) No, no. I asked about the movie.

Lebnox: I was not talking about you. (We know that was a good try, but we couldn’t beat him in his own game.)

Q.3) Okay okay. I should rather ask about performances.

Lebnox: Okay. Yeah, go ahead.

Q.4) I just d…. Okay, how were the performances? (He really had gone insane after watching the movie, we assumed.)

Lebnox: Everybody who acted in the movie was awesome. I mean I can’t pick out just one favorite from all those. Rajeev Khandelwaal, as Inspector Mathur, keeps on improving. He plays a frustrated cop who doesn’t hesitate in taking risks and is not afraid of anything. Gulshan Devaiya as Karan, aka KC, plays a spoilt brat who has a knack of doing shocking things out of anger or craziness and believes the base of every friendship is trust. Shiv Pandit as Dushyant, aka Dash, is more of serious guy who, after attaining the peak of insanity can do anything, and also is the brain behind every plan. Neil Bhoopalam as Zubin, aka Parsi, plays a guy who tries to stay away from most hideous activities, but sometimes plays along just for the sake of friendship. Kirti Kulhari as Tanya, plays an aspiring actress who is in love with Karan but never admits that and is an important part of their group. Kalki Koechlin as Amrita, aka Amy, plays a girl who is undergoing a mental trauma for the last 12 years, and is new to the group. She starts enjoying their company and eventually everybody gets into trouble. Supporting cast includes Nikhil Chinappa, Pawan Malhotra, Rajat Kapoor and Raj Kumar Yadav. Everybody did a fantastic job and it would be unfair to pick out one.

Q.5) Quite a speech that was, calm down, you surely are high today.

Lebnox: Don't call me the next time if this review doesn’t gather maximum views. Okay, do call me after giving me a warning. And I’m not high.

Q.6) How was the direction?

Lebnox: The thing which I liked the most about Bejoy Nambiar is that he is not afraid of attempting something as bizarre and disturbing as Shaitan. I mean, how many movies have you seen which show a bunch of 20 something guys going crazy and landing up in trouble? Very few, I would assume. But Shaitan is quite different from those, sure it has similarities with Anurag Kashyap’s Paanch but still, it is original and insane and disturbing and shows reality. The way story proceeds is thrilling and you’re eager to know what is gonna happen next. Sometimes you guess right and sometimes Bejoy surprises you. His direction was a pleasure to watch except, the scenes which were supposed to be disturbing, were actually disturbing. Bejoy has a special talent, that was visible, but a few scenes in the movie which seemed like a repetition of earlier portions, snatch away the brownie points he deserves. But I really don’t care. He has a long way to go, and I’m sure he’ll get better with his second script.

Q.7) How about the technical aspects?

Lebnox: See all the movies which are made under Anurag Kashyap productions have terrific cinematography. The camera work is always unique and is thrilling. One feels amazed in some of the scenes. Music is addicting. Really. There are a number of composers who have composed songs for the movie and all of them have done an outstanding job. The songs, slowly, grow on you. Editing, in first half is razor sharp, and in second half, a few scenes become repetitive.

Q.8) What’s the story is all about?

Lebnox: Friendship, trauma, dysfunctional family, drugs, sex, love, money, heavy metal music, booze and impulsiveness. Any of these things has a big effect on an individual. What would happen if all these things have a combined effect on you? What activities would you indulge in? What measures would you take if you land up in trouble? What would you do if your inner devil takes over your soul?

Q.9) And?

Lebnox: And you’ve two ways of knowing the answers to these questions. Either try doing these things or watch Shaitan. Or if you don’t want to know the answers and you feel you’re better off not knowing, not delving, don’t watch it.

Q.10) So the movie is a hit?

Lebnox: If by hit you mean recovering expenses and earning profit, yes it will be hit.

Q.11) So that means everybody should watch it?

Lebnox: Yes of course everybody should watch it. But if you can’t handle disturbing scenes and can’t watch the ‘future’ of our country going crazy, DO NOT watch it.

Q.12) Final Verdict?

Lebnox: Movie is awesome. I had expectations and it fulfilled them all. But it is certainly not for everyone. Some scenes are so disturbing that you may close your eyes and feel genuinely sorry for the characters. That was much needed though; I mean that’s what I think. Such extraordinary situations were necessary to make the youth realize that if they try to be smart by doing things they’re not supposed to do, they end up in a shitload of trouble. Worse case, they might end their life. And, there were a few glitches that one might question, like some said the movie ends in a whimper. I replied, just thank god you’re not doing those things so you’re not sure what the person becomes and how/she reacts in those situations.

Q.13) You sure you’re not high, right?

Lebnox: Ha-ha. Why are you always afraid of my mood? Even if I’m high, I just gave you an awesome review. What more do you need? (Narcissist, we thought, but then who cares. He is actually awesome.) (And yes, he laughed. Finally.)

With this we end our interview right here. Lebnox said he needed a sound sleep so he rushed out. After a disturbing movie and interview, he atleast deserves a sound sleep. Doesn’t he?

Ragini MMS

Hello friends, how are you all? Hope you’re enjoying this cricket season. And we’re glad that you always care to take your time out for our little but accurate and enjoyable review show. We’re back with Ekta Kapoor’s Ragini MMS. The movie has been in news for obvious and for some unobvious reasons as we all know. And our man of the show is here to review it. Please welcome, LEBNOX!

“Hey Lebnox, What’s up? How are you?”

“…Man, all those who say horror movies don’t scare them, LIE!”

“So did it scare you? I mean you’re that much scared?”

“Nay man, I always come under exceptions as you all know. I never lie.”

“ So let’s begin the interview. Shall we?”

“Of course, what are you waiting for? Another MMS?” There it was. Finally. The classic Lebnoxical wink. He is the man.

Q.1) Describe the movie in one word.

Lebnox: Enjoyable.

Q.2) Enjoyable? This is supposed to be a horror film.

Lebnox: So? Can’t one enjoy horror movies?

Q.3) Yeah. Okay. My bad. So did it scare you?

Lebnox: You asked those questions which you’ve learnt by heart. Don’t you? I think you’ve asked the question earlier and the answer was in negative. But yes, it has potential to scare some. To a great extent. But not to everybody. ( He always does this. Answering our question in way to embarrass us. Damn!) 

Q.4) Okay. Okay. Let’s talk about the performances.

Lebnox: Oh boy! Raj Kumar Yadav is a tremendous actor. I’ve become his fan now. He makes the film enjoyable. His dialogue delivery, comic timing, facial expressions, and everything were just perfect. Yes. PERFECT! He makes you laugh. He scares you. He makes you fall in love with his performance. Kainaz Motivala, on the other hand, is a real charmer. You instantly fall in love with her innocence. The last thirty minutes of the movie, where you expect an out of the box climax, she does the entire job. But easily, Raj Kumar Yadav scores much higher than her.

Q.5) Let’s come to…. Hey what are you thinking?

Lebnox: Ah, nothing. Raj Kumar Yadav is a daring man. In LSD, he was the one who filmed the sex tape and sold it. Now he is back to repeat history in Ragini MMS. He is a rascal but I’m his fan now. And oi, Kainaz looks awesome. Epitome of awesomeness, I meant.

Q.6) Is the movie rip off of Paranormal Activity?

Lebnox: I don’t think so. A few scenes may have been borrowed from Paranormal Activity. The truth is, if you like the movie, you won’t care if it’s a scene by scene rip off. But if it is bad, you’d want to curse everybody associated with that movie.

Q.7) How’s the direction?

Lebnox: Umm… Not very good. Could’ve been better. Debutante Director Pawan Kripalani tries his best to scare you off but only manages to do that in a very few scenes. One thing he has done well is that he made his actors act terrifically.

Q.8) And what’s the story?

Lebnox:  Well, you know it all. And moreover, what story do you expect in a horror movie? Every time in a particular house there always lived a woman who was killed and now she haunts everyone coming in that house. Same is in this movie.

Q.9) It is being labeled as scariest date movie ever. How correct is that statement?

Lebnox: Not really. One expects a lot before going to the theater. The ghost doesn’t scare much. The sound effect does the entire job of earning your full attention, making you grab your friend’s arm or whatever. After you come out the theater, you feel movie should have been more scary.

Q.10) What about the real time shoot?

Lebnox: In LSD more real time shooting was present. Here it is used in the beginning and in the end. Rest all is normal shoot. But yeah, camera angles used in the movie are super apt.

Q.11) So the movie is a hit?

Lebnox: Ekta Kapoor has made sure it turns out to be a hit. So yeah, it shall recover its expenses with ease and collect good money at the box office.

Q.12) Are you sure you didn’t get scared?

Lebnox: Do I look like I’m scared? It’s just that, I’m thinking about Raj Kumar. He always makes sex tapes, yaar! (He was smiling in a little weird manner. Had gone mad, we thought)

Q.13) Final Verdict?

Lebnox: Look, the first half had everything. From sex quotient to comic scenes to scary scenes to Raj Kumar. Second half the story went haywire. Some got irritated, some got scared and some got bored. So it’s not like a single man’s opinion is entitled for all. You may come under any of the three categories. And also, the movie is made only for youngsters, and they might enjoy the MMS scene of the movie. (There was a possibility of him laughing boisterously. We’re gald he didn’t do it.)

And he left for his home. Clearly, he was smitten by Kainaz Motiwala’s beauty and innocence and had become a fan of Raj Kumar. We suggest, if you really want to get scared and enjoy the movie, go for it. If you’re skeptic whether to go or not, take a pass.