The Curious Case of Jism 2

Kabir is the best policeman the country has ever seen. All he does is to take out his gun from the holster in less than a second. That makes him the best; from what they have shown in the movie. In a drug cartel raid he comes across a bimbo who is indirectly linked to the case. But somehow he figures out that she is innocent so he lets her go.

Next thing we know, that bimbo is in love with him. She writes him a letter with her blood, does some background check on him and reaches his home to confess her love. They deliver some of the most irritating dialogues in the context of love and start screwing each other in different places. We assume Police officer has also fallen in love with her. Well, after so much love making who wouldn’t!

So after he is exhausted with all those sessions he disappears. And the bimbo thinks she has been dumped so she goes on to become porn star. The genius of Mahesh Bhatt.

Some wonderful years have passed and we have seen much of her porn on the internet. One fine night in some club, a mysterious guy with hilarious expressions gives a look at Izna, the porn star, and in the next scene they are doing some, ahem, sensual activity. For money. Not sure if that bimbo is a porn star or a call girl. So after that sensual activity that guy, Ayaan, tells her to do a special task for them in exchange for money. She agrees. They both go to Sri Lanka and start using the word ‘Mulk’. If Pakistan wasn’t enough, the movie makers have  now moved on to Sri Lanka for their stupid terrorism plots. Courtesy Mahesh Bhatt.

So there is a special agency, wow – so original, which only has two people working for. There are three more, but they are actually room cleaners and cooks and also get killed later on so they don’t matter.

So the people at that agency tell Izna that there is a terrorist called Kabir who is the most dangerous terrorist of India and is killing people. He continues by saying that no one in India can get to him because he lives alone in Sri Lanka and is protected by some friend who is deaf in one ear, and doesn’t even live with him. So only Izna can get to him because he still chants her name in front of everybody so it is well known fact. Well, any forever alone guy with an internet connection will chant a hot porn star’s name every day. Big deal!

So Ayaan and Izna go to Sri Lanka and easily get a home adjacent to Kabir’s. Ayaan gives her a romantic novel and tells her to read some of the pages so that they can cook a story to tell others. Wow.

Now, Ayaan tells Izna to distract Kabir so that he can go and get all the data from Kabir’s laptop. She does that. So Ayaan gets in Kabir’s house, which has no security whatsoever. He also opens his laptop, which doesn’t even have a password but as soon as he inserts his pen drive Kabir gets a message. He is a moron. Neither does he get to do what he wanted with Izna, nor does he stop Ayaan from copying his data. The most difficult task I have ever seen in the history of Indian movies.

So there is again some big dialogue bazi which forces you to pull your hair from your scalp and scream your throats out. There is again some skin show which is so boring that you try hard to get seduced but you end up abusing everyone associated with the movie. Epic fail.

Even that’s not it. Mahesh Bhatt has saved his best for the last. There is a big twist. It sucks so bad that you slap your cheeks hard and pull all the hair out from your scalp. So practically you come to watch this movie hoping to see your favorite porn star doing something worth your money but you end up having so many injuries that even a doctor can’t feel sorry for you for watching Jism 2.

The Ugly:

Sunny Leone:  I admit love is blind. It makes you do terrible things. I proved the theory right. I went to watch her please me. Instead, she was too pathetic for anyone to handle. Such plastic emotions, such appalling cry, such disgusting performance. And what’s worst? The dubbing artist who dubbed her, Smita, has given her worst performance to date. You wonder why is the voice so out of sync with her lips! Yes, I did look at her lips but even those looked horrendous. Atrocious performance. Disappointing.

Randeep Hooda:  There was one actor who was known for his intense acting skills – Randeep Hooda. Was. He has the worst dialogues in the movie and every time he appeared he made you pray to god to end his scene as soon as possible. There was not one good thing about his performance. His intense acting skills made a poorly written and directed scene even more irritating.

Arunoday Singh:  He has nothing to do in the movie. All he does is to show his hideous expressions and abysmal love for Izna. Yes, towards the end he does get to do some action and stuff but what stands out is his last emotions. What bullshit! But what bother the most are his expressions.

Story:  This is it. Mahesh Bhatt has lost it completely. He can only scratch all his body and pass controversial remarks for everybody. He cannot make good films now even if he wants to. I’d not be wrong if I admit that this was the most ridiculous, illogical, irritating, awfully written script ever. Starting from the first scene, everything was so lame that he has established a level of insanity.

Pooja Bhatt:  Opportunist she might be called by many, but in fact she is in idiot in actual. You can get a famous porn star, an intense actor, and an average music in your team but in the end you need some talent and skill to pull off everything. What a waste of everything!

The Silver Lining:

Amidst all this crap, there are a couple of things which need a mention under a different heading.

Cinematography:  Exotic locations, brilliant use of colors and splendid use of camera. These are some of the only positive things about Jism 2. But sadly due to awful script and poor acting these things might get ignored.

The Music:  The song ‘Maula’ which has a haunting effect, if listened properly, is the standout. Arko Pravo Mukherjee has done a good job. Rest of the songs are good, but like I said, even the music is helpless in front of such disastrous movie.

Enough Said.

Why should you watch it?

If you think this whole review is a big fat lie.

Why shouldn’t you watch it?

If you want to retain your sanity, money and love for Sunny Leone.

Book Review: How I Braved Anu Aunty And Co-founded a Million Dollar Company - Varun Agarwal

How many times does it happen that you meet your old batch mates – listen to their routines, success stories and philosophies and you say, ‘God, what am I doing with my life!’

I guess it does happen with everybody at some point of their life. How many of the backbenchers and low-graders you know have become successful in their life? Well – that is a tough one.

Everyone has heard of college-drop outs, failures, and those where-the-hell-were-they-during-college types of guys making big, viz. Zuckerberg, Gates, etc. So what if some guy – almost of our age – does something similar?

Meet Varun Agarwal.

Newest entry to the group of twenty something guys with rebellious blood running in their veins. It doesn’t matter if he deliberately did not want to join a management course or he wasn’t qualified to enter a big college. What matters is what he did with his life. He inspired, or rather, instigated his friend Rohan Malhotra to risk their careers and do something that was the first of its kind. Varun dared everyone he was related to – including the iconic Anu Aunty and co-founded a unique company that redefined entrepreneurship in India.

Alma Mater – as the name suggests – is a website where you can register your college and design your college merchandise such as T-shirts, sweat shirts and all. The company’s worth is around a million dollars, as the author and entrepreneur claims.    

Anyway, coming back to the book – it doesn’t have anything extra ordinary. It’s an honest account of a guy who challenged everyone in his family tree and his friends and opened a company which went on to become super successful.

Anu Aunty, who plays the second lead in a story, makes sure no stone is unturned in stressing Varun to take the same path that her own son took. Varun, as predicted, hates her son as he finds him geeky and idiot. He has just completed his college and is supposed to join some good company for a job and do something good with his life, but he is not interested. He wants to do something extra-ordinary.

On a crazy night, where all the big ideas are invented and big things happen, he strikes an idea of opening a company having a one room office and selling college merchandise online. With some hiccups, their company gets a head start and then Varun and Rohan don’t look back. Unlike the rest of us, who use facebook only for liking  and commenting on mostly stupid things, Varun and Rohan use facebook for viral marketing of his company along with justdial for promotion purposes.

The book is rather an account of his journey, so it does inspire you and gives you a hell lot of insights of how you have to deal with various people, what measure you must take, what problems you might have to face and most importantly – how not to bogged down by the snubbing of family members and friends and stay focused.

Talking about writing – this is Varun’s debut book so it would be unethical to judge the book on such grounds. He sure has his way of writing, but it is certainly not as good as the other commercial fiction novels available in the market. It lacks the commercial aspect – that is – it’s a bit monotonous.

But then, you don’t buy this book only to have fun. You buy this book to read a success story and to learn the dos and don’ts of the marketing and business world. It doesn’t stir any emotion in you, but it does inspire you in more ways than one.

My rating: 3.5/5

           

Book Review: How About A Sin Tonight? - Novoneel Chakraborty

What happens when you come across five different people simultaneously? Five very different people. They intrigue you. They attract you, and you feel like knowing them more and more. Once you get introduced to them, you feel like knowing about their past and how they became the person they are at present. Well, you then go on a journey. A long one. You find about the people, understand their lives, comprehend the consequences of the decisions they made and why, feel them around you, and whatnot! When you are done living their lives, you feel a change in you. A big one.

That’s what How About A Sin Tonight? does to you.

Meet Shahraan Ali Bakshi – The Superstar! The guy who rules the hearts and whatnot of girls. The inspiration for all the wannabe actors.  The legend having an innocent but twisted past.

Meet Kaash Sehgal – The upcoming Star! The guy who rose to fame with a critically acclaimed movie. The playboy. The obsessive lover. The mystery.

Meet Nishani Rai – The Star kid!  The diva having blood composed of only one thing – vengeance at any cost. The obsessive hater.

Meet Reva Gupta – The quintessential Icon! The girl with nothing but success in her mind. The girl who knows the best way to grab every opportunity. The confused lover.

Meet Neev Dixit – The Heartthrob! The guy with confused dreams. The seen-it-all and did-it-all guy. The twisted lover.

                                                Love took them. Everywhere.

They all are connected with each other. In some way or the other.

A new movie brings them all together.  They have a past and they have a history among them. What follows is the drama that is sure to move you and will leave you with a lot of questions in your heart and mind.

Novoneel Chakraborty, of A Thing Beyond Forever & That Kiss In The Rain fame, has grown up. In every sense.  Be it writing style, be it the theme, be it the philosophy, be it the characterization or… be it age!

The best thing about it him is he doesn’t feel burdened while writing, he does what he wants. His trademark being the questions raised on the conventions everybody follows blindly and his way of seeing each and everything with a different perspective. That makes him stand out. He will make you feel his characters, he will make you ponder. His hard work is visible in each and every line. You will feel amazed by his knack of presenting things, which you come across everyday and ignore unintentionally, in a manner you never knew existed.

Well, the only downside I came across was Neev’s and Reva’s story. May be for me it was too complex or maybe it was too hard for me to believe their chemistry. But then the story which does not make you challenge the story itself, is never a good story. Also, for some it maybe a downside – you cannot finish this by brewing the pages. You just cannot.

The book demands full attention and concentration. You need to prepare yourself, for the questions and ideologies raised by the characters are sure to touch you somewhere at some point.

All in all, to conclude, How About A Sin Tonight? is basically a character driven novel, in which you don’t have to search for the story or the plot or the thrill or suspense or whatever. You just need to follow the characters to wherever they take you, and believe me, the journey is bound to change you. In one way or more.

Pros: The characters, the writing, the conventional things we do or follow have been questioned, the ideologies and Love!

Cons: Too many characters.

Overall: 4.5/5

When I Met SRK!

I have always believed that you should never really wish to meet your favorite celebrity; for you don’t know how they might behave with you. One moment…just one moment with them can decide everything. I am a big time fan of Shah Rukh Khan. I hear a lot of things about him, everyday, some good, and some bad. I don’t care. I admire him, period. I’m not gonna change my opinions on the basis of things I hear.

But…

When you have an elder sister who has contacts in big hotels in New Delhi, and she knows people….big people, and also has the caliber of fixing a meeting with your favorite celebrity, would you let go of the opportunity? I guess, you wouldn’t. I came to know SRK was in town for a couple of days for some work and was staying in a hotel I knew my sister has contacts in. That was it. I had to go crazy. I had to irritate her to a point where she had to say, ‘OKAY! I’ll see what I can do! Happy?’

And here I am. Waiting in the lobby. Waiting to meet my favorite star. Nervous. Shaking legs. Adjusting my hair. Wiping the sweat off my face. In short – Anxious. Am I really gonna meet him? Will he actually shake hands with me? Will he get a photo clicked with me? How much time am I gonna get? What am I gonna say? Will he listen to me? Answer my questions? Such are the heights of my craziness.

‘Mr. Naman?’ I hear a voice. ‘Yes!’ I reply back, surprised. ‘It’s time for your appointment. Sir has to leave in about half hour and he is waiting for you in his Suite.’ Waiting? For me? In his suite? No way!

I follow him. My hands are trembling. He is just a normal human, just like you. Stop over reacting!  I say to myself.

‘This way, Mr. Naman. Here you go.’

Adrenaline courses through my body. I hear the footsteps approaching. Don’t meet him. Just run!

The door opens and I see someone.

‘Hey! You must be Naman, right?’ Red colored rim spectacles, black t-shirt, blue jeans, glowing and a very familiar face passing that classic smile….I almost collapse.

‘Relax, dude. Usually it’s the girls who give me this kind of reaction. Come on in.’ He smiles. I can see him. Shah Rukh Khan. In his personal Royal Suite. Right in front of me! And guess what? He calls me by my name the moment he sees me. AWESOME!

‘Come sit. Wanna have something to drink? Tea, coffee, soft, hard… anything?’

I am too starstruck to speak. He laughs.

‘You alright?’ He pats my shoulders. I am stoned. Why am I behaving like this!

‘Hi, sir. I am a big fan of yours.’ I finally manage to utter out the most clichéd words in the world. Disappointing.

‘Haha. Really? That’s it? I expected more from you.’ He winks.

 ‘No…No! I mean, I am really a big…big….bigggg fan of you.’ No sooner do I complete my sentence than I look above and notice the ceiling, the walls, the lighting, and the decoration. What an arrangement! I wish I were a star.

‘Oh, is that so? How big a fan are you? Tell me.’ He rests his back on his sofa and folds his hands, starts smiling and waits for me to speak.

I am in Shah Rukh Khan’s personal royal suite! I shout in my head, again.

‘Oye, kaha kho gaya?’ He starts laughing.

‘I don’t know. I have seen some of the shows where they showcase your fans. I don’t do that kind of stuff. But yeah, I admire you a lot.’ I am amazed by the clarity of the long sentence I just spoke.

‘Hmm. Okay, forget all this. Tell me, do you buy the music of my movies or do you just download?’ Again, that sinister laugh. He knows he has caught me.

I freeze. Totally.

I speak nothing and look down. Even more embarrassed.

‘Call yourself a big fan, huh? Haha. No worries. People rarely buy. They always download. Not a new thing.’

I keep fiddling with my fingers anxiously. Clueless about what to say next.

‘I’ll start buying from your next movie.’ Shit. How can I be so dumb!

‘Yaar tu itna dara hua kyo hai? Mai samajh gaya. You are the biggest fan.’

I look up and notice the glow on his face. I suddenly think of something.

‘Why do some people say you’re rude to them? I was scared about the same before coming here. I comforted myself with a silly thought - since this is a proper appointment, you wouldn’t be rude.’ The conversation is all going wrong. My legs shiver.

‘See Naman, I never have any intention of being even remotely rude to anyone. It all depends on the situation in which they see or interact with me. If I am in a crowded place and surrounded by people, I cannot pay attention to everybody. If I am in the middle of the shoot, crew members won’t let any fan come up to me. They get disappointed. The worst part is that I don’t even get to know of most of those happenings. I know many get irritated and change their viewpoint about me, but, that’s life! I move on.’

I smile. Feeling satisfied.

‘But then, people say much more things about you; which I feel, are inappropriate. I guess you must be aware of some of those things.’

‘Media waalon ki tarah kyo baatein kar raha hai! Ha-ha. Arrey, I know everything they say about me. It’s been 22 years. Ab toh zada farak bhi nahi padta. I feel, if you don’t irk at least 50% of people surrounding you, you’re not doing your job right. On the other hand, if someone speaks negative about you, you can easily make out whether it is genuine or jealousy or out of personal grudge. People keep calling me idiot, old, worn out, cheesy, narcissist or even gay!  It doesn’t affect me now. People will always say things. It’s your choice to listen to all that bullshit or ignore.’

‘Really? You are aware of each and every damn thing they say about you… even sometimes about your role in the movies?’

He passes me a curt smile. And then, winks.

‘I know where you are heading. The point is that I have done so many movies, and played really, really difficult characters in some. Now that I have reached this level, I feel I should experiment. I don’t care whether those efforts will be appreciated or not, whether the people would want to kill me or not; I just feel like experimenting. And, I am not gonna stop. Love me or hate me for it.’

I just feel short of words. He looks serious. Should I ask him for a photo?

‘Achha ek kaam kar pehle. Pareshan mat dikh. Chill! You mind if I smoke in here?’

‘As a matter of fact, I do!’ I speak immediately with such confidence that he actually stops before lighting his cigarette and looks at me with raised eyebrows. God, I really hate smoking.

‘I’m sorry. But I really hate your habit of smoking. You do know how harmful that is. Fir bhi? Aur movies me kehte ho nahi peena chahiye, log mar jaate hain.’

‘Chal tere ko ek baat batata hun. Sorry, haan, is cigarette ke liye.’ He throws it in the bin kept nearby. Brings in a serious look and speaks. ‘There are two types of people in the world. First, who have the ground and are rooting for the sky. Second, who have reached the sky but lost the ground quickly. I happen to be the latter. I lost my Dad when I was very young. I only had my mom to take care of me. My younger sister was ill. And, I had to go to Mumbai to fight for the love of my life. I tried my hand in TV & movies; and by the grace of god, I started to succeed. And then I got to know about my mother’s demise. That was very saddening. She used to call me her hero and always believed in me. She wanted me to win an award in acting. And, she left me as soon as I won my first award. I couldn’t even show it to her.  I had no one left, had to take care of my sister, had to fight for my love and had to make a living. Smoking bahaut gandi cheez hai. Mujhey kisi insaan ne nahi balki akelepan ne shuru karayi. Chhod raha hun yaar, dheeme dheeme. Maaf kar de.’

He smiles. I try to recollect and remember everything he just said. Whatta man! Seriously.

‘May I ask you more about my doubts?’ I make an innocent face and look at him. He checks his watch. ‘Abhi toh time hai. Pooch le. Nahi toh tu bhi bolega ki sanki hoon aur bhaav khata hoon.’ I silently thank my sister, and speak.

‘One of my friends dislikes you. He says your prime has passed; you used to be brilliant but have now become irritating and repetitive. He also says you’ll end up being like Michael Jackson by the time you hit 50. It shows in your face.’

‘You sure you’re a fan? Khaali maarne me laga hai jabse aaya hai!’

He and I share a good laugh.

‘I am 46 years young, Naman. The way I am living and speeding, I’ll only stop at 150. Not at 50. Don’t worry. Na mujhko gum hai, na mujhko parwaah. Kaun mera dushman hua.  And talking about the face? Umm…I know I am very sexy!’

It takes enormous amount of guts and confidence to speak good about oneself. Not all can do it. He is full of confidence and style! I wait for a while. My legs still shaking anxiously, and thinking what to say next. I am still a little starstruck to actually listen to what he says carefully. I just want to blurt everything out I always wanted to ask and tell. But then, I smile. Not sure of the reason.

‘Tell me, did you see Don2?’

‘Oh, yeah. I did. I did. I certainly did.’

He chuckles. I look down and laugh over my reaction.

‘Hmm. How did you like it?’

‘I loved it. You were awesome. I liked and appreciated you in Ra.One too. But…’

‘Aa gaya line pe, makkhan maarne ke baad. But kya?’

‘Nahi, aisa nahi hai. I don’t know whether I should actually say it….There was a problem in Ra.One. Maybe, in Don2 as well.’

‘Aah. Maybe I know what’s on your mind.’

 ‘You could have at least chosen a better script for Ra.One. That way it could have earned some appreciation from critics as well.’

‘Tumhe ek pate ki baat batata hoon. Jab script saamne aati hai na, toh vo tabhi achhi lagti hai agar sahi me achhi hai toh. Everyone liked it when it had taken the final shape. I don’t know if something backfired during the shooting and production. We really did put in a lot of effort. Everybody! Yes, I agree something was wrong, but then it’s okay. I mean I just wanted to show people that they don’t need to run to Hollywood to get ‘quality’. Everything can be produced in India now. As far as roles are concerned…I don’t sit around and complain. I can play Rahul a 100 times and still make him look different and lovable each time. Rahi baat Don ki, apna apna nazariya hai logo ka. Film achhi bani. Logo ka toh kaam hai kehna, kuchh kuchh toh kahenge hi.’

‘A 100 times? And people around me blame you for repetition. I am tired of explaining things to them.’

‘Dekh. Simple sa funda hai. For every 5 people who say I suck at acting and should give up…blah..blah…blah; there always are 500 people who love me for what I do. Their love supports me and encourages me. Aur yaar log unnees aur bees ki baat karte hain, main toh paanch aur paanch sau ki baat kar raha hoon. I’ll die the day they stop recognizing me, mobbing me or loving me. That’s what I live for. That eternal love of my fans has made that misery of not having parents go away. I owe my life to them.’

I smile. I am confident now. He is answering all my doubts, queries and questions without any hesitation. Again, I repeat, the star sitting in front of me is the same Indian who is mobbed every time he makes a public appearance and has the maximum number of fans globally. And, he is talking to me right now.

‘ You know, now I keep quite whenever I hear anything against you as I know they are unaware of your greatness.’

‘Arrey bol liya kar bhai. Kaisa fan hai! Vaha kuchh nahi bolta aur yaha aakar dialogue maar raha hai. On a serious note, look. First off, I don’t even pay attention to all those stories and opinions. I am here to do my job, i.e., to entertain people as long as I can. Let people say whatever they want. I will keep loving them and doing my job. And yes…2011 was nothing; watch out for 2012’

He winks, lays back, folds hands and passes that evil grin. He, sure, has his way.

‘Chal yaar. It’s time. I need to leave. All the best for all your future endeavors.’ He stands up. Adjusts his specs and hair. I prepare to leave.

‘Achha, aajtak laakho fans se mile hoge aap. Koi yaad bhi rehta hai?’

‘Tu bas ye yaad rakh, tere ko nahi bhool raha main. And if I’m not wrong, you’re the best sensible fan I can ever have. Baaki toh saare khaali autograph aur photo ke liye milte hain.’

I am about to take out my paper and phone for the autograph and a picture but immediately stop. I don’t ask him for those things. Instead I have a better memory of meeting him.

‘Chal yaar, Naman. It was nice meeting you.’ He shakes my hand and passes a smile.

‘I hope to meet you again if I ever come to Mumbai seeking any help from you.’

 ‘Sure! Here, take my card. This is my secretary’s number, and here you go. This is my number and email id.’ He scribbles his details at the back of the card. I am awestruck. Too many unbelievable things happening at the moment.

‘Aur koi shikayat?’

 ‘Nahi. Nahi. Don is the best bad guy in the world.’

He and I share a last laugh. And I leave his suite, walk past all the rooms and everything.

I just met SRK!

Ladies Vs Ricky Bahl - The Good, The Bad & The Ugly.

Ricky Bahl has many names. Sunny Singh, Iqbal, Deven Shah, Vikram Thapar, etc etc. He is a con artist. He lives his life off his talent. He fools girls for money and quickly changes his identity. Three of the thirty girls he has conned are Dimple Chaddha, Raina Parulekar and Saira Rashid. Raina happens to be a big shot. She decides to take revenge against him and get all her money back. She teams up Dimple and Saira and makes a plan. To con him this time.

Ishika Desai is a simple sales girl who never lets anyone leave her showroom empty handed. She makes everyone buy something or the other. Raina and team approach her to play by the plan and con Ricky Bahl. Ishika agrees and swears to finish the job with expertise.

They meet. Ricky Bahl is a pro. Ishika is confident. Both try to con each other. Ishika has a team working hard with her; Ricky Bahl has his talent with him. Things take a turn and he falls for her. What happens after that? Who succeeds in the mission? Who wins in the end?

The Good:

Ricky Bahl: Ranveeri Singh is a star. Believe me when I say this. He may be a man infamous for his tomfoolery in reality but when he’s on screen, you’re bound to like him. He brings with him oodles of confidence on screen. Plus, he has carried a blockbuster on his shoulders previously. His hard work shows in every character he plays in the movie, in his accent, in his body language everything. Ricky Bahl was tailor made for him. Well oiled and chiseled abs, his expressions and his dialogues very well qualify for hoots and claps.

Ladies:  If Ricky Bahl is a star, ladies aren’t far behind him. They give him competition in every department. Show stealer among them is easily the debutante Parineeti Chopra. Anushka Sharma is experienced and is expert in playing roles like these, but was outdone with Parineeti this time. Dippanita Sharma Atwal plays her character of a corporate and confident woman well and manages to play the head of the team with finesse. Aditi Sharma as an introvert Lucknow girl looks natural and cute, and her dialogue delivery is excellent. But for me, find of the movie is easily Parineeti Chopra.  Her role as a bubbly and pakki dilli waali ladki was hilarious. Her comic timing, her expressions and her dialogue delivery, everything was amazing. All whistles for her. Simply awesome! Me likey. Me a fan.

Story & Direction:  If you think Maneesh Sharma could be a ‘one film wonder’, you’re wrong. He returns with this light comedy-family-drama which is bound to make you smile, laugh and fall in love with his characters. The best part about him is that he makes the story and his characters so relatable and simple that you don’t need to stress out while watching nor use your brain. Stress-buster, to be specific.

Music: If you think the music of the movie is ordinary and doesn’t grow on you, listen again. You might actually start humming along and move your legs in sync with the beats and rhythm. ‘Aadat se Majboor’ & ‘Jazba’  need a special mention.

The Bad:

Second half:  If first half was funny, fast paced and cool and whatever; then second half slackens a bit at places. Some of you may yawn a few times or check your watch or call the scenes clichéd or check your messages or update your status or whatever stuff you mostly tend to do in these situations.

Love Chemistry: Nothing was actually wrong in Ranveer and Anushka’s romantic chemistry but somehow you tend to compare it with their on screen romance in their previous movie together and feel unsatisfied.

The Ugly:

Editing:  If you find second half a little slow at places, you’ll abuse the editor, for some scenes were actually should’ve been edited out from the movie but were present in the movie.

*  *  *  *  *

Why you must watch the movie?
Light hearted comedy, hilarious moments, family drama, good music, and two hours of fun never really hurts.

Why you must not?
If you have a habit of watching serious and heavy drama and have a knack of comparing each and every goddamn Indian movie to Hollywood flicks. Seriously.


 

The Dirty Picture- The Good, The Bad & The Ugly

Reshma is a small town girl who wants to be an actress but is fed up of her failures. She dreams of being with Suryakant, the megastar, but is unable to do anything about it. She, then, decides to take a bold step and uses her body to attract attention of the makers. Abraham, who comes across her, gets irritated of her boldness and alleged shamelessness that he starts hating her. Meanwhile her item song in the movie becomes hit and the film’s producer decides to find her and give her a big break, and also the screen name Silk.

Silk is given a chance to do an item song opposite her childhood fantasy Suryakant, whom she lures and seduces well. Her item song becomes an instant rage and she becomes hit. Everybody wants her to do an item song in the movie and at the same time people hate her in actual for she is bold and doesn’t hesitate.

Suryakant, finally gets bored of her, and starts ignoring her, and that exact moment, his brother, Ramakant, a struggling writer expresses his love for Silk.

Meanwhile, Silk’s downfall has begun as people have started getting bored of her and media has everything bad to say about her. Abraham, finally rises and acts in the same movie he directs, written by Ramakant and becomes hit.

The Good:

Vidya Balan: ‘Zindagi ek baar mili toh do baar kya sochna!’  Vidya Balan has kicked some serious ass in the movie with her over the top flamboyance. She has set a new milestone to achieve for the other actresses. Full marks for her performance. It must have taken enormous amounts of guts, determination and confidence to take up a role as bold and dangerous as Silk and to perform it with natural flair. Obviously, she is the soul of the movie and has outdone everybody. Superb!

Dialogues: ‘Aapko holi khelne ka toh shauk hai, par aapki pichkaari me dum nahi.’  Brownie points to Rajat Arora for the dialogues. Of course they are highly adult, ambiguous and are perfect examples of crude humor which one certainly cannot enjoy with family, but you can’t take away the credit from that man. Witty and original and funny and so true! If Vidya Balan is the soul, then the dialogues are the heart of the movie.

Male Actors:  ‘Jab Sharafat ke kapde utarte hain toh sabse zada maza shareefo ko hi aata hai.’  I had developed loyalty for Emraan Hashmi due to role and acting his recent movies, but this is for the first time, I am admitting openly that I am his fan. What a man he is! Same can be said aboutNaseeruddin Shah. What is it that this man cannot do! Amazing performance. His shady character always moves the story forward and every time he is present on the screen, you know something different is gonna happen. Tusshar doesn’t get much of the screen time but he has done Okay! All I can say is that he’s getting better with every movie.

First half: ‘Film sirf teen cheezo se chalti hai: Entertainment…Entertainment…Entertainment. Aur mai vo entertainment hoon.’  First half of the movie is the best. The rise and rise of Silk and her exotic moves along with double meaning dialogues and fast paced plot keep you hooked. During the first half, you hear the most claps, whistles and hoots.

Direction: ‘Film me sirf ek hi hero hota hai. Director.’  Milan Luthria has very well tried to pull off a masterstroke by sensationalizing the biggest mystery of Tollywood of 80’s. He has tried to make everything in the movie as authentic as possible with the looks, sets and characters. He gets the credit for making the characters the way they are in the movie.

Music: ‘Ooh  lala…Ooh lala. Tu hai meri fantasy.’  If I were asked, what is one particular thing that Vishal-Shekhar are best at, I’d probably say their choice of Singers for the song. Be it Lucky Ali, Akon, Saleem Merchant, Shankar Mahadevan or, in this case, Bappi Lahiri. They make their singers sing in a way you just can’t resist but love the songs.

The Bad:

Screenplay: ‘Kahaani me masala nahi hai sahab. Nahi chalega. Silk ko bulao. Aag laga degi.’  If Rajat Arora gets all the whistles for the dialogues, then he also gets thumbs down for his loose screenplay. He could’ve used his male characters in a better way and could’ve presented the life history of Silk way better than he actually did. The character detailing is bad and the second half becomes too lengthy and boring, especially when Emraan Hashmi returns in the movie.

Theme: ‘Silk jo chahti hai, kar ke dikhaati hai.’  Sadly, the movie focuses more on Silk’s love, lust and loneliness along with the industry’s love for flesh which turned Reshma into Silk; instead portraying the life history of Silk and showing her in and out. You go into the theater expecting to know more about Silk but end up seeing everything you already know.

The Ugly:

Cleavage: ‘Public samaan dekhti hai, dukaan nahi.’  Before I say anything, understand this - I am a perfectly normal guy who loves girls. And their assets. But Vidya Balan has left me surprised with her ‘too much exposure’ of her body. In the beginning, I was jaw-dropped at her boldness and loved it. Slowly became used to as the movie proceeded, but then towards the end it started to irritate, and I was like, ‘Why is she not wearing any clothes! Damn!’

Editing: ‘Mujhey paise kamaane aur public ko entertainment chahiye. Mai Silk ke is gaane ko daalunga aur dobara film release karunga. Fir dekhna.’  Believe me when I say this, second half dr…rrags unnecessarily. There are moments when you think the movie is about to end but then again takes a new turn and goes on. You will witness the unexpected for sure. But with a negative impact. 

Book Review: Haunted - Douglas Misquita

I love books. I love everything about them. They take me into a new world altogether. I get to learn things, I get to experience things. They absorb me, they move me.

I love thrillers. They are fast paced, they are engaging, they are interesting and I find solace in them when I am dead bored. Nothing can beat a good thriller, I tell you.

‘Haunted’ by Douglas Misquita, an international thriller is one unforgettable book.

The Blurb: FBI Special Agent Kirk Ingram’s life is torn apart when his family is brutally murdered before his eyes. Devastated physically and psychologically, he vows to destroy organized crime in all forms.

Across the globe, an international trade house brings terrorist activities and organized crime together in a deadly nexus that threatens to bring the world-order to the point of anarchy.

And only one man stands in the way of global terror and paranoia — one man seeking redemption, and waging a personal battle against the demons of his past...

It’s almost impossible to believe that ‘Haunted’ is the first published work of Douglas Misquita, but it is the ultimate fact. The strength of the author lies in his strong imagination, rich vocab, enormous research, vivid description and visually powerful writing.

First off, let me warn you that if you think you can get away with light reading or breezy reading of this book then you’re highly mistaken. The book demands concentration and full attention. The best way to enjoy this story is to keep imagining the scenes described and by giving a ‘face’ to the characters.

The whole story revolves around Kirk Ingram seeking revenge and fighting against terrorism. There are too many characters in this complex story but the ones that stay long after you’ve finished reading the book are Kirk Ingram, Detective James Connor, Lars Gunther and Amanda Gunner. Had the story was written with limited characters, the reading pleasure would have doubled.

Talking about the content, the story begins with Kirk losing his family and then moves on with more mysterious happenings across the globe. A Balkan terrorist group operating under a tyrannous dictator has its feet firmly planted in the US and Russia. They move their ‘goods’ through a safe network. But the dominoes tip over with the hunt for a certain fatal nerve agent as well as the death of an important person. The author has done a good job with connecting each and every chapter with one another. The characters are introduced at regular intervals as the story proceeds and we get to know more about Ingram. The characters are easy to connect, and if you, like I said earlier, are successful in giving them a ‘face’ you’re going to have a mind blowing reading experience.

Also, I’d like to add that I learnt so many new things about Guns and other weapons after reading this book. It was hard for me initially but then gradually I started enjoying it.

The only fact that can push away the readers is that it is actually a very complex story with too many characters. It might confuse them if they don’t pay full attention.

The surprising and another good fact about ‘Haunted’ is that it doesn’t have any spelling and grammar mistake. It is perfect. The publishers have also done a good job in production.

All in all, a great book if you’re a fan of Dark Thrillers and are a diehard action lover.

Pros: Action packed story, super twists and turns, mind blowing research, perfect and visual writing and an apt ending.

Cons: Too many characters, too complex a story.

Overall: 4/5